not what I wanted to blog about...

...I was hoping to do a kid update or a garden update.

But instead you get a story about our afternoon. Not because I want to write about it, but I need to get it out of my brain and onto paper (so to speak) so I can sleep, and also it will hopefully let lots of people know about it without having to make a bajillion phone calls.

We were in an accident today.

WE ARE ALL OK! I will start out by making sure you know that! Seriously all ok. I cannot tell you how thankful we are that the Lord protected us and we are all safe.

S left today for work meetings in Chicago. He was riding with another pharmacist manager from the area and drove to this guy's Costco with our car to meet up with him. The kids and I met Papa and Aahma B halfway this morning and made plans to come back and pick S's car up on our way home so it wouldn't sit there for a week (Papa and Aahma B, the kids and I were/are planning on leaving Thursday morning to drive to Chicago to pick up S and continue on to MI for a long weekend with family). We picked S's car up and Aahma B was driving that and following the kids and I in the van. I was at a green light wanting to make a left turn. There was a yield to left turns on green sign, and I pulled the proper 1/3 into the intersection waiting for my turn. The light turned yellow. I looked at the cars coming my direction and all of them were slowing down to stop, including a semi-truck. Being that they were all slowing, I made my turn and glanced back for a split second to check where Aahma B was and what she was going to do. When I looked ahead, the semi-truck was not stopping and headed right for us. It was not going fast, but it hit us on the passenger side front tire, and continued to the front passenger door and the rear passenger door.

The imact and damage was not as big as what you would think being that a semi just hit me. Because the air bags din't even go off. But it was still a jolt. And the fear for my children's lives gripped me stronger than I can ever explain. The site of a semi about to hit you, no matter how slow, will do that.

I swore. (I never swear.)

G&W immediatly started screaming. (G watched the whole thing happen.)

little C slept through it all. (a seriously strange blessing.)

I pulled to the side of the road and immediately went into mommabear mode. I gotta get my kids and make sure they are safe was the only thing I could think. Many people pulled over and were trying to ask me if I was ok, but I couldn't answer anyone until I got the kids out. I unbuckled W and held him, checked him over tried to calm him, and talk to G, who was ok, but screaming and upset. I checked little C who was still sleeping and made sure he was ok too. Aahma B finally was able to get there and W, who was calmer now, went to her so I could hold and calm G.

What just happened? Did that really just happen? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? What if...?

A good samaritan in a white Tahoe had pulled over had called 911 right away. She also gave me her name and phone number and said to call her as a witness. What I think happened was that the driver of the semi-truck was slowing down to stop and then at the last minute decided to go through the yellow light. So he wasn't going fast, but he didn't see me until it was too late. It was almost so that we both thought we were going to avoid it. The driver of the truck was fine too. He was very concerned about us. He didn't say a lot, but didn't try to defend or crazy justify his side of the story either. I didn't care about who was at fault for what at that point. All I cared was that we were all ok.

And now what? I couldn't get a hold of S as he was in the air on a plane at that time. He is the one who always takes care of us and would know exactly what to do right now. What do I do?

OK. Mommabear survival mode again. I kept the van and the air conditioner running so that the kids would stay cool. Of course today it gets to 86 and we were in the blazing hot sun with no shade around. Thankfully, the kids seemed to calm down quickly. Aahma B was a huge blessing to have there for that. The other driver actually thanked her for her help with the kids too. And as she climbed in the van with them at one point he looked at her a little funny and asked who she was. "I am the grandma. So it is ok!" G & W played actually happily in the van climbing all over and seemed oblivious to the accident that had just happened not 15 minutes ago.

OK. Get police here, get information, get towing for the van, figure out how to get home, and through it all make sure the kids were ok and not scared anymore.

We have been cleaning the van getting it ready for vacation and apparently cleaned it a little too well because all the papers were out of the glove compartment including the proof of insurance! So I frantically called my brother M in Nebraska to get him to look up our insurance lady on the internet and give me her phone number. I was able to get a hold of her office and get the numbers and instructions needed.

The policeman filed a report. The other driver and I exchanged all the information we could possibly think of. I called the insurance to get set up with a tow. We waited for the tow. I was on the phone A LOT. We cleaned out the van. Installed 2 out of the 3 carseats in S's car (SO very thankful that we had something to get us home!). Explained to G how today was a special emergency so she got to sit in the backseat with just a seatbelt on.

2 hours later.

Towing for the van finally came and we could head for home. In rush hour traffic now of course. I had to drive. I know that may sound strange as I was just in an accident, but I was still in mommabear mode and I had to get my kids home safe. Not that Aahma B couldn't do that, but it was something I had to do!

3 long hours after the accident we are home. We missed an appointment in the afternoon, my plans for getting packing done today were shot, but we were home and safe. No one had to go to the hospital. I hugged each of the kids again hard, hard enough that they all complain a little. I didn't care! I still had more phone calls to make with insurance though, so I left them all with Aahma B in the backyard and set in for another hour on the phone.

I also was finally able to get a hold of S. I completely broke down while telling him what had just happened. He was so supportive and talking with him was exactly what I needed. I know it was hard on him not to be here and be able to take care of us and fix it though.

Our evening was fine. I am so thankful that Aahma B was here. Not only for helping out with the kids, but just someone else in the house with us tonight. Once again, the kids seemed to be just fine, and they talked about the accident kind of matter-of-fact like "this is what I did this afternoon" conversation. G said she just looked up and saw a big truck hit us and it was the biggest biggest BIGGEST crash she has ever heard. W was able to verbalize everything too and told me that a big truck bonked our van and our van now was owie. He said it was SCARY and then he was so so so so so sad. The kids took a little bit to get down to sleep, but finally made it. I am not sure how the night is going to go. I hope that they don't have nightmares. I hope I don't have nightmares. And I fully expect to have at least 2 if not all 3 kids in bed with me by the end of the night. But you know what? This mommabear won't mind it a bit!

And what about MI? Do we go? Do we cancel? I think tomorrow's events will tell the end to that story.

It is now almost 12:30. I spent some time on the phone with S again after everyone else had gone to bed here, and we said goodnight well over an hour ago saying that we would both go to bed right away. Sorry sweetie, but I couldn't sleep. I was antsy, couldn't get my brain to stop and relax enough to drift off. So now that this is all out here, maybe I can get some rest.

Will I be ok? I may have a few sleepless nights. More worry over how the kids are going to handle it. And if we do go to MI, I may choose not to drive if I don't have to. But ultimately, yes I will be ok. Because my hope and trust is in the Lord no matter what happens. And I am overwhelmed by that peace. I am also overwhelmed with His protection and love and power today.

May His love and protection surround you all too.